Naughty Bear

While you wouldn’t always associate Teddy Bears with brutal slaughters because of an anti-social bear not being invited to a party due to his namesake, this game tries to distance the traditional opinions of mild mannered bears in every way possible.

The game’s premise is quite simple: You are Naughty Bear, a friend to no one on an island of Teddy Bears. There’s a big bear fiesta and you’re not invited (obviously for the same reasons your name is Naughty Bear). You did try to make a present and play nice, but after being laughed at the only obvious answer is to go on a homicidal rampage through the different parts of the islands, slaughtering your neighbors along the way.

There are several ways that you can eliminate the ones that laughed at you: You can simply grab a weapon and go to town on them, sending stuffing flying all around. You can try to set a trap, and try to lure the unsuspecting bears out before you slice their head off (or bludgeon them to death with a club). You can also use various items in your surroundings for a contextual kill (for instance, you can freeze a person in a refrigerator, shove a phone through their head while they try to call for reinforcements, and so on). Finally there is an “Ultra-kill” where you scare a victim so badly that they end their own life with whatever weapon they happen to have.

You will use these ways of killing to go through 7 levels (each having their own unique challenges) of a mad rampage as you ruthlessly seek revenge on the other bears for laughing at you and calling you names, not ever letting you join in their reindeer (Teddy Bear) games.

I found the game both fun but frustrating.The fun part being able to figure out new ways to kill the bears while going through the challenges, watching the scared bears run away while tripping over their own two feet. I also enjoyed driving the bears insane, leading to them taking their own lives.

The ninja guards were funny at first… then they became frustrating because there was nowhere to hide from them. This makes certain challenges (such as the “don’t get touched” challenge especially difficult).

The challenges were interesting the first few tries, but after failing the same challenge over and over, I was ready to move on. Also by that time it had become more of a challenge to keep the camera from getting caught up on the edge of the map as I try to hide from my enemies in the woods. The camera would seem to spasm and want to look at something completely irrelevant to who I was hiding from, and that got annoying really fast.

While it doesn’t feel like a short game, doing the same challenges over and over does get a little tiresome. The storyline was good, but don’t expect too much out of the storyline of one bear’s revenge.

I wouldn’t rush right out to buy this one. Perhaps rent it first and test the waters.