News Anchors covering 2020 election projected to say “It’s Too Early To Call” exactly 2,573 times

“We have to cover a lot of dead air in between commercials” said director Charlie Stephens of the coverage of the 2020 election coverage.

“There’s only so many commercials we can run in between updates, and we can only say the same thing so many times before people start changing the channel.” He continues

Americans are glued to their televisions hoping for answers, whether hoping for their side to win, hate watching the updates or simply because they started day drinking early in the day once they got home from the long lines at the polls.

Never has television coverage during an election been more important, and news organizations know this and are taking full advantage, whether they have anything to say or not. But what to do with the extra time?

Guess we’ll go with the old standby “Too Early to Call”

“Duuuuude I love it!” responded first time voter Chad Hunt. “We’ve been partying all day bro! We had corn hole and beers in the afternoon, ballot shooters afterwards and keyword shots lately!”

Again the news coverage said “Too Early To Call” and the entire frat house roared with cheers as shots were sloppily poured for the umpteenth time since coverage started.

If nothing else, this election night will lead to a lot of cases of alcohol poisoning.